TIFU by telling my kid to take his cigarettes.

Wednesday, 24 November 2021

He’s almost 13, but he looks about ten. We stopped into the gas station and I grabbed two packs of smokes for my husband and me and a pack of Skittles for the kiddo. I had both the cigarettes and the Skittles in the same hand and was trying to fish my keys out of my purse with the other, and what I meant to say was, “Here kiddo, take your Skittles.”

    What I said instead (plenty loudly in front of about 6 people) was, “Here kiddo, take your cigarettes.” Not a single person laughed, they just stared daggers. I’m afraid I’ll be arrested if I ever go in there again.

That’s it but I need about 250 more characters to post this because apparently, nothing under 750 is “meaningful.” I love you is only three words. I’m pregnant is only two. We sent the dog to go live on a farm upstate is eleven. I get that there have to be boundaries and all, but that minimum character limit seems kinda arbitrary and I really feel like it tanked the delivery of my post. But whatever.

TL;DR I told my kid, in public, to grab the cigarettes I’d just purchased in a way that made it appear I’d bought them for him.

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